Hello, World

I'm still figuring out the best way to reply to this e-mail that I received earlier today. Will likely take an "elderly statesman" tone, and recommend that when sending something like this, it's best to (1) not address it to 37 other people and (2) actually include my first name in the salutation, which, in this case, was impossible due to the problem identified in my first suggestion.

Hello,

I'm interning until Friday and just wanted to reach out during my remaining days here. I got your name from the alumni directory and was wondering if you had time for me to shadow or have a coffee to learn about your role. If so, my calendar is rather free between today and Friday so any time that works for you is fine with me. I know this is last minute so I hope someone has time for me this week, but I thank you for considering.

Thank you,
[Name Withheld to Protect the Innocent]

It's amazing that even if I wasn't the only person to get this, if I at least thought I was, then I'd be inclined to help. But now it's the exact opposite. The simple alternative: copy the body of the e-mail thirty-seven times, open up thirty-seven new e-mail messages, and paste repeatedly. Or, even better, even though it might take a little more time and energy on the part of the sender, would be to look at thirty-seven calendars and identify a smaller subset of people who actually might have free time, and ask for a specific window of opportunity.

Maybe that's what bugs me more than the impersonal mass-mailing: the stunning lack of effort behind the request.